Back to work tomorrow after having the last week off. Didn't really do anything special but was kinda nice to just lay around and not have to do anything in particular. I met a new guy over the weekend, last Saturday to be exact, and I've already saw him 3 times this week. He's a great guy: sweet, funny, charming, all the good stuff, but I don't know. He's younger than me by about 5 years and, while we do have quite a bit in common, he is of Indian decent and my family is totally red-neck racist. My mom wouldn't care, really, as long as I was happy, but my dad would have a stroke. I don't really care what my siblings would think. I don't judge them, so they have no say in what I do with my life. My extended family is full of hillbilly rednecks that still think it's 1975 and I would probably be dis-owned. Not that I really care. I've never really given a shit what they all think, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to subject him to their ignorance. He's very intelligent and we share a lot of common interests...We like the same movies, the same music, the same books. Three dates and he's already telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves my eyes. He says I have very expressive eyes and he spends most of our time together staring into them very intently. Made me a little uncomfortable at first, but his eyes are very beautiful also, and it's nice to be able to carry on a conversation with someone that wants to look at you and not turn their back on you. We've had some pretty interesting conversations. He has told me a little bit about Indian culture and that has helped me understand some of the things he says and does. And he is a complete and total gentlemen. Opens doors for me, including car doors, pulls my chair out for me, compliments me regularly, always asks for my opinion before making decisions involving the time we spend together, and he has not made any sort of "move" on me without asking me if it was ok first. On our first date, he asked me if he could hug me before I left and the same on our second date, except he wanted to hug me when I first got there also. On our third date, he hugged me when I got there and kissed my cheek and when I went to leave, he asked if he could kiss me, which I, of course, told him he could. It was a just a simple kiss, nothing too overbearing or invasive or anything like that, but it was nice. It's totally awesome being with someone that doesn't think we have to jump in bed right away. He's away in Chicago this weekend, for the wedding reception of a former roommate, so I won't get to see him until Sunday and maybe not even then, depending on what time he gets home. He promised he would call when he got in tonight, so I'm looking forward to that phone call. That's another thing...After each one of our dates, he has asked me to call him and let him know when I arrived home safely so that he wouldn't worry. After date #3, I forgot to call him, and he ended up calling me about 30 minutes after I got home, just to make sure everything was alright. Those conversations are short and sweet, just "glad you made it home alright, I enjoyed spending the evening with you, I can't wait to see you again." But they are meaningful to me because I actually feel like he genuinely gives a shit. I don't know, it's too early to tell anything, but he's sweet and funny and I like him, and we'll see what happens.
In other news, I went out with Truck Driver again last night. It was totally nothing but a drunken booty call. And a very bad decision on my part. I shouldn't let him talk me into shit, I know, but I can't help myself. He turns on the charm and I am putty in his hands. And, while I really don't expect anything from him, he never called me today and he usually calls me every day. Oh well, I know exactly what I am to him and I just have to work up enough self-esteem to tell him I'm not gonna be his booty call any more. The sex is really good, though, and all he has to do is start kissing me, and I can't fucking tell him no. But if things progress with the New Guy, then I will definitely tell him that we can only be friends, not friends "with benefits."
Ok, so, like I said, back to work tomorrow. Lucky me. Back to my same old boring routine. I'm really beginning to hate my life. I gotta make some changes real fast...I feel myself totally being stuck in a rut that I am not going to be able to dig myself out of if I don't do something fast. And I'm still not sleeping much. Two or three hours a night. Which is total bullshit. I can get used to the no sleep thing, I've been through this before. What I can't get used to is that the sleep that I do get is not restful sleep so exhaustion is creeping up on me very quickly and I can't deal with that very well. Today for example: the last time I looked at the clock, it was 3:45. I woke up at 6:30 because we went shopping today at the Outlet Mall in Fremont, IN, and we wanted to get an early start, since it was over an hour drive away and I got up that early so Drama Queen and I could both shower and get ready. Anyhow, we headed back around 2 o'clock this afternoon and it was all I could do to keep my eyes open while driving. We took the little girl that went with us home and came home and I turned on the computer for a few minutes so I could check e-mail and stuff like that, not that I ever get anything worthwhile (except for the occasional e-mails from MadMands), and by this time, I was totally exhausted. I took my shoes off and laid down to take a nap, and as soon as my head hit the pillows, my eyes were wide open. I tossed and turned for a while, trying to get comfortable, and finally started reading a little, hoping that I would bore myself to sleep, but that didn't help either. Finally, I gave up and just got up, because I wasn't making any progress. And, now I am so damn tired I can barely move. Maybe I need a new mattress. Or maybe I just need to get the fuck away from all the shit that drives me crazy and constantly runs through my head and keeps me from being still for more than 30 seconds at a time. Insomnia is a wonderful thing, isn't it?
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2 comments:
Hi! Just read your post about the Indian guy. I'm married to an Indian guy (he was born in America) and let me tell you, their parents are very hard to deal with! I like my in-laws, but they have made me cry more over the past 15 years than anything in this world! And I don't even think they know that what they say is upsetting me! It's a hard family culture to understand, and my man is very, very American. He's not the problem, it's his parents. Just giving my 2-cents worth.
BTW, I'm Juan Bodley's sister.
Let me state as someone who knows a thing or 2 about eyes that guys say that just to get past the fear of everything else. I mention the eyes just so the lady in question looks at mine, giving her a reason to either axe me to take it out (the "fake" one) or just run away and get a restraining order.
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