Crazy weekend

Holy shit. I drank so much this weekend that my liver is leaving me for another body. I swear, I really don't drink that much on a regular basis...Maybe a drink or 2 a week at the most. Last night I was on a bender...And I am so freaking glad I wasn't driving. We started out at the comedy club, which was pretty fun. The headliner was pretty cool and I enjoyed most of his jokes and stuff. This particular club is notorious for serving some of their specialty drinks in quart-sized jars. Holy shit, Batman. Long Island Ice Tea and quart-size jars are not a good combination. I don't know how many times I told everybody, "I only had 3 drinks at the comedy club." Wow. It's funny how after the first one, they really didn't have a taste anymore. Probably because I had already murdered all my taste buds one the first one. Or, I just really didn't care, one or the other. After the comedy club, we went to this multi-club place that was right across the parking lot, because we actually got in for free since we went to the comedy club first. This place is like 5 different clubs all under one roof. Pretty cool, you might think, a little bit of everything for everyone. This place has actually been around for a while, and those of you that live close or have every lived close will know exactly where I am talking about but since I don't normally offer free advertising, I'm not gonna mention the name. Anyways, being the wholesome little small town girl that I am (quit laughing!!), I had never been to this particular hot spot before and I can see why. I was probably too drunk to enjoy the whole experience, but I'm the type of person that doesn't want to have to smell what the person I am talking to had for dinner just to have a conversation with someone. That, and I do not dance, at least not in public places, or at least not very well in public places unless I am extremely intoxicated, and I was not THAT drunk last night. I was pretty shocked at the level of security at this place. At every door, there were at least 2 security guards. When you walk in the door, you hand the first guy your ID (and yes, they checked EVERY SINGLE PERSON who came through the door), he hands it to the other guy, who scans it to make sure you aren't in their "you can't play here" database, and then the first guy turns back to you and does one of two things, depending on whether you are male or female. If you are a guy, you get frisked. If you are a girl, you have to allow them to look in your purse or handbag or whatever you might be carrying. He doesn't like, dump the contents on the floor and sift through them or anything like that, but he has a small flashlight and he just skims through to make sure you are smuggling any weapons or drugs inside the club. Never mind that there are probably 100 drug dealers floating around the crowd and if you really wanted a weapon, that's what beer bottles are for, dammit. Anyways, I'm getting off track here...So, we wait in line for a ridiculous amount of time, and finally get inside and go through the security line and all that good stuff and I buy myself a beer. Remember, I'm already toasted by this time, after the 3 quart-size Long Islands. So, we are walking around and checking things out and I'm just kinda looking around and trying not to get lost. We are talking culture shock for me; I'm used to the bars that can hold about 100 people max. This place could hold probably closer to 5000. Not that there were that many people there last night but it was pretty packed. So, we are walking around, like I said, and we walk through this big group of guys, and it was pretty close quarters, so there really wasn't any way to keep from bumping into each other, right? As we were walking through, one of these assholes decides to cop a feel and grabs my boob. WHAT THE FUCK? Mother fucker, I did not just get felt up in a crowded, noisy bar by a complete fucking stranger. I was pissed. One of the guys that was in my group of people saw it too, and he was laughing his ass off, but he wouldn't tell me which one did it because we probably would have gotten thrown out and then our names would have been added to the "you can't play here" list. After that, I don't remember much, except taking the shuttle that this club provides down to another bar that was playing 80's music and that was pretty cool. But, then again, I don't dance, so I just kinda stood around and watched people. I did have this one moron that wanted me to pose for a picture (no, not a naked one) with him, which I didn't because I FUCKING HATE having my picture taken, even if it is with/by a complete stranger. Think about it, how many of you, except for those that know me personally, have ever seen a picture of me on here? And those of you that went to the same high school as me don't count. When we decided to leave the cool 80's retro bar, we, of course, had to wait for the little shuttle thing to come back, and we stood around and waited for 45 damn minutes, which was freaking stupid as hell. It was either that, or we try to cram 6 of us in a cab and split the fare, and that wasn't gonna work, considering 4 of us were pretty big people. So, we finally get back to the multi-club place and it's like 3 a.m., which is when the bars close here in Indiana, so we all stumbled to our cars and headed for home. Thank God I wasn't driving. I was so damn drunk and so damn tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I think I poured myself to bed around 4 and slept for about 4 hours and then had to get up and go to work. I was still fucking drunk when I drove to work this morning!! Long damn day too...I only worked 3 hours, but I've been on the go all day too, and this is the first time I've sat down long enough to catch my breath. Oh, and the quit smoking thing took a backseat last night too. Apparently, I can't drink without smoking, or at least that was my story last night anyhow, so my lungs have been crying all day too. They threatened to leave me too, but I promised that I wouldn't cheat on them anymore. I did have a like 3 cigarettes today, but that was mostly to get myself jump-started this morning, since I was still fucking drunk. Alright, enough bitching for one night. My dumbass is going to bed with my Ipod. My dog snores now and I have to have something to block out that noise or I can't get to sleep. Hopefully, I won't hang myself on the headphone cord in my sleep. Night ya'll.