White Trash Hall of Fame

Drama Queen and I made it this weekend...Yep, we made the White Trash Hall of Fame...Sunday, to be exact. Pull up a chair...I'll tell ya the story.

Sunday, I spent most of the morning flirting on-line with my newest crush, who is WAY cute and drives a Harley, in between doing loads of laundry. I had to run to Wal-Mart because my sister used all the laundry soap and fabric softener and no one bothered to tell me that we were out while until I had a washer full of clothes and no soap to add to it, and DQ was bored, so she went with me. It was pretty hot out Sunday and DQ asked me if we could leave the windows down so it wouldn't be so hot when we came back out and I said no, but we could leave the sunroof open, which I never ever do, but we did it on Sunday. Ok, so we go in to Wally World and get what we need and we are walking back out to the car and I am digging in my purse for my car keys and they aren't there!! Oh shit, what the hell did I do with my keys??? Oh, fuck, don't tell me I locked them in the damn car?? Sure enough, I locked my keys in my car. Now, let me tell you, I am stupid enough to have one of those fancy cars that you can't open without the keys, so calling the cops to break into my car would have been pointless. Also, I lost my spare set about 6 months ago and still haven't made any effort to go get a replacement set, just in case I was ever stupid enough to lock my keys in my car. Yeah.

Ok, so I'm standing there getting more and more pissed by the minute, and DQ says, "mom, why don't you reach in through the sunroof and grab the keys and open the doors?" Great idea. One small problem...I DRIVE AN SUV!!! Alright, so we are standing in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot, on a Sunday afternoon, when there are a minimum of half the people in town shopping, and I am trying to boost my 12 year old daughter up onto the hood of our car so that she can climb over the windshield and crawl up on the roof and reach through and grab the keys. All these people were staring at us as they walked by and all I could do was stand there and smile and hope and pray that DQ didn't drop the keys when she pulled them out of the ignition. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. Thankfully she didn't drop the keys and we opened the doors and loaded up our stuff and went home. And, of course, DQ had to tell everyone that we can in contact with what had happened. Mortified, I was.