Back to the front

Back to work in the morning. So much for my week of vacation. I need to go back to work so I can get some rest!! I'm not kidding...I'm fucking exhausted.

Took Drama Queen shopping this afternoon. We both got some new sneakers, she got a nice new hoodie, and a couple pairs of jeans, and we bought her some new bras for school. My friend and her son went with us and we went into this one store because the kind of jeans he likes were on sale for $15 off regular price, and she wanted to get him a couple pairs before school started. We were looking through the novelty t-shirts in the men's department and I saw the funniest damn t-shirt I've seen in a long time:



I thought it was awesome. If my friend's kid wasn't only 15, I would have bought it for him. Actually, I was going to buy one for my Indian friend and send it to him, but they only had size large, and there's no way in hell his skinny ass would have been able to wear it. I had to call him and tell him about it though. We got a good laugh out of it. I miss him so bad.

Alright, I gotta crash. I'm so damn tired, I won't even be able to sleep. Insomnia is bullshit.

At least I will miss you

I lost a good friend this past week. Well, former good friend, I should say, since I haven't talked to him in 3 years. I met this person at a time in my life when I really needed a good friend to lean on and he totally came through for me. Yes, he had his faults (some REALLY big ones, at that), but he was ultimately the one that encouraged me to get out of my first (and only, for that matter) marriage, when my ex-husband was beating the crap out of me on a regular basis. I actually met him prior to my wedding, and he tried like hell to convince me that things would not get better and that, regardless of what my ex-hubby said, I was worthy of someone that would love and cherish me and not use me for a punching bag. Obviously, I didn't listen to him, and when I finally realized that I had to get out, he never once said "I told you so." He only did what good friends do, and that was support my decision and be there when I needed him, no matter what I needed him for. He came to my apartment and changed the locks when I decided that I had to get out and he sat with me while my ex pounded on the door, trying to get in, and then, when he finally left, he stayed until I fell asleep and then called me several times a day to encourage me to stay strong and stick to my decision, because it was the right thing to do. Shortly after all this went down, he got into some serious trouble and wound up going to prison for several years. I wrote him a couple of times, but when he refused to put me on his visitors list so I could come and see him, I got angry and stopped answering his letters. And then, when he finally came home, I refused to see him. Because I felt like he had abandoned me. But I was the one who abandoned him. I wish that I had been more mature then and I maybe I would have realized that his not wanting me to visit wasn't because he didn't want to see me, but because he wanted to protect me. He didn't want to think of me seeing him in a place like that. He was embarrassed and ashamed by what he had done. And he didn't want to think that I could possibly be putting myself in harms way by visiting him there. But I was an immature, selfish little bitch who couldn't see that at the time.
When he got out, he didn't try to make contact but he knew my parents and when he would run into them, he would always ask about me. How I was, what I was doing, how Drama Queen was, although he hadn't seen her since she was about a year old. I did happen to run into him at a local tavern one night and I was actually really happy to see him. We were both alone and we sat and drank and talked until the wee hours of the morning, just catching up in everything. I was so happy to see that he was making a good life for himself after getting out. Little did I know that wouldn't last...
Apparently, while he was incarcerated, he developed a heroin addiction. He kicked it before he got out, with the help of a little methadone (sp?), but we all know that once an addict, always an addict, and it proved to be true in his case too. He couldn't stay away...And he was running with people who wouldn't help him stay away...And I didn't know any of this until yesterday. He died Saturday night or Sunday morning...No one is for certain exactly when. Found him at the bottom of the stairs in the house he was sharing with his current addict-girlfriend. Obituary said natural causes. Closest thing I can come up with is drug induced heart attack. Sounds logical, right? Guess I'll never know for sure. I tried to call his brother, but he didn't know anything else, either, and his mother is no fucking help what-so-ever. That stupid bitch had him cremated, and had the ashes buried next to her mother and is not having any sort of memorial service at all. She sure as hell didn't want anything to do with him while he was alive, so why fuck with him after he's gone, right? I sure hope I never run into her in public, because I can't say that I would be able to control myself.
All in all, despite his faults, he truly was a great guy. Yeah, he made a lot of bad choices in his time. And, yes, he was an adult and responsible for the choices that he made. I never once heard him blame anyone else for his going to prison. He knew what he did was wrong and he knew that he had to pay for his crime. But he was also a very kind and caring individual. He was there for me when I needed him the most, and I will never forget that. Unfortunately, I will never have the opportunity to tell him how much that meant to me. Or how sorry I am that I couldn't re-pay the favor and be there for him. Maybe he wouldn't have reached out to me, who knows? After all, a lot of years had passed since we had been close. But I would like to think that he still knew how much I cared. His death has once again made me realize how important it is for me to make sure that my friends and loved ones know how I feel about them...Because LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!

Keep him tied it makes him well

Where the hell did this month go??? And where the hell was I while it was passing by???

Birthday sucked dick. I was home in bed with a migraine by 6 o'clock that night. What a way to spend a birthday, huh? I'm so pathetic. Not a big deal, really, the Vicoden helped kick it and by 10 o'clock, I was feeling better. Drama Queen and I watched The Hills Have Eyes together for the remainder of the night. Not a bad movie. Not all that I thought it was gonna be, but it was ok. DQ hid under the covers for most of it. Still haven't watched Hostel yet. Heard that wasn't all it was hyped up to be either.

Concert was awesome, of course. Someone that I had never heard of, Scooter Jennings, was the opening act and he was good, and then 3 Doors Down played and they were awesome. Lynard Skynard rocked the place, of course. I expected no less. They played several songs and then they had Scooter and 3 Doors Down come back out and sing Sweet Home Alabama with them and then they all went off stage like they were done, but of course, they weren't. They came back out and did Free Bird and it was fucking awesome. They took that little 4 or 5 minute song and just kept on playing it and I swear it went on for 10 minutes at least. It was cool as hell. We even got lucky because it had rained off and on all day long, but about 20 minutes before we got there, it quit and it never started back up again until we were well on our way home. We had stopped on the way down there and bought some rain ponchos just in case and we ended up sitting on them for a while, and then the guys rented some chairs for us to sit on. The only chairs they will let you use there are the low-backed beach chairs so every time I went to sit down, I felt like I was falling, but it was alright. Lots and lots of drunk stupid people, too. There was one guy that we kept seeing that was drunker then hell, walking around in his socks, carrying his shoes with one hand and holding on to his jeans with the other hand. And if he would have let go of them, they would have fallen off!! Too funny. And, I caught a contact buzz from the people behind us...Someone should have clued them in on the fact that weed is one drug that is better enjoyed in moderation...Not that I smoke it anymore, but you know what I mean. The one girl was so baked that she couldn't even stand up and she sat through the whole show just staring at her shoes. Must have been something fascinating about them. Anyways, had a great time.

Work seems to be worse than ever. I'm slowly going over the edge here and I can't seem to stop it no matter what I do. I had to cancel my vacation because I am short-staffed and I am getting absolutely no support from my boss or his office and I am on the verge of telling them to shove it. I have taken the same week off every year for the last 4 years and I always ask for it in January to make sure that I get it. So, I have had this planned for over 7 months and I have to cancel it because I asked for help over a month ago, and have gotten none. So, I am extremely disgruntled right now. Might even go postal on their asses.

Alright, enough bitching for now. Peace!

Ok, I'm a total wuss-bag

Oh my god, I hurt. I knew this was gonna hurt some, but I feel like someone branded me with a hot iron and caused second degree burns on my shoulder. I know, I know, I'm a total wimp. It looks fucking awesome though. I'm very proud of it. I've had my shirt off more times today showing people than I have in the last 6 months!!!

Tomorrow is my birthday. Yippie. Is it over yet?

Have to work all weekend since I am going to that concert on Tuesday and I have to be out of the store on Wednesday for a training meeting. I need a new job. Or a rich man. Or both. That would be a nice birthday present, wouldn't it? I know, I'm not taking this "single" thing very well, am I?

Son of a *@%!?

Ouch. Mother fucker ouch. That hurt like hell. Took 2 hours and the guy did a fantastic job. I am totally impressed. It'll be a while before I get any more work done, if I ever get any more work done but I am totally satisfied. I just hope it doesn't fade much while it's healing. Damn, this means I'm gonna have to start wearing tank tops and stuff like that to show it off. This picture is after only 2 hours so it is still a little bloody and shit but you get the general idea. Fucking awesome. I love it. It was totally worth all the agony. And not a bad price either for all the detail and color and shit. When it heals, I'll have somebody take some more pictures and show you all the details and stuff.



If you live around here, it's Ink Spot Tattoos...Very talented young man. A little scary to look at, with all the metal in his face, but very talented individual.

Here we go

Ok, I'm doing this today. I'm getting my tattoo. Today. At 5 o'clock. I went in there today to check out the studio and talk to the artist and check out some of his work and all that good stuff and decided that this is really what I want to do. I have been contemplating it for a while and he was really cool about answering my questions and stuff like that. He said he has been doing it for 15 years and his portfolio looked really good, so here goes nothing. No turning back now. This is what I am getting:



I'll post some pictures after it's all done so we can compare. I'M SO EXCITED!!! Wish me luck, I'm a big wimp and it's gonna hurt like a muther!