Where am I? And how the hell did I get here?

Am I on another planet today or what? Did some greater power decide that I needed a little more bullshit in my life today and decide to have me wake up in an alternate universe where I am surrounded by people whose uncles are also their daddies and they call there mom's "sis"? I swear to God that I can totally top anyone's hillbilly redneck story with the shit I have went through in the last 2 days. Get this:
I work for a small electronics retailer who shall remain nameless so I don't get picked up on any search engines. As if that isn't bad enough, the town I work in is TOTALLY filled with in-breeders and rednecks whose biggest ambition is to see how many beers they can put away and still beat their wives and kids on the weekends. The whole town put together doesn't have a mouthful of teeth and the average IQ is below 50. The last couple of days have been really shitty anyhow, because I am seriously short-handed right now and I have had to work alone for the better part of the day. For those of you that know me, this is torture. I have gotten very good at carrying on a two-sided conversation with myself. As if this isn't bad enough, TWO times in the last 2 days, I have encountered the 2 stupidest people in town. Seriously, I could laugh this off if it happened once, but TWICE?!?!?! What the fuck...
Wednesday, I had a customer come in my store carrying a bag from another store, which is not a big deal...Sometimes people bring me things when they can't figure out how to work them or something and it's not unusual to see WallyWorld bags being brought into my store. Anyways, he walks in and sets his bag down on the counter and I ask him what I can do to help him. Sit down for this, you're gonna love it. He looks me straight in the eye and says, "I bought this at WallyWorld the other day and I don't need it any more...Can I return it here?" Excuse me? Did I suddenly change jobs and forget to tell myself?? "I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't purchase that here, I can't return it for you." "Well, why not? You sell the same thing, dontcha?" Oh my freaking God, am I in the twilight zone here? "I'm really sorry, sir, but you didn't purchase it from here and I won't be able to give you your money back for that." "Well, what the hell kind of place is this? It shouldn't fucking matter, should it? It all comes from the same place." "I'm sorry, sir, you will have to return it to the store that you purchased it from." "Well, see if I ever shop here again." You didn't fucking shop here to begin with you fucking idiot!!! I didn't actually say that out loud, but I wanted to throw something at him as he walked out the door.
Ok, so I can deal with idiots once in a while..It comes with the job. BUT IT HAPPENED AGAIN TODAY!!! Another customer, also male and obvioulsy of the same mentality, came in and did the exact same thing today!! Ok, now I know I'm in the fucking twilight zone.
As if it wasn't bad enough when the people in town take their livestock shopping with them instead of their kids...Someone please rescue me from this nightmare!!