Good news...For now

Ok, I went to see the surgeon yesterday and he said that all the draining and stuff that it is doing now is a good thing. Turns out that visiting the ER was probably one of my better decisions lately. He couldn't say for certain that it WASN'T a brown recluse spider bite, but he wasn't sure that it was either. He cleaned it off good and put a different type of bandage on it and showed me how to re-apply it so I could change it frequently, told me to put some neosporin on it when I changed bandages and gave me a stronger antibiotic. Said to keep a close eye on it for a couple more days and as long as it appeared to be healing, not to come back to see him until next Tuesday. The pain is actually very mild now, and I think the swelling has gone down consirderably. It only hurts now when I smash it into something, because I'm so graceful, or when I sit here and squeeze it so see if I can get any more shit out of it, because I am a sick twisted bitch. Seriously though, it does feel better. Not on fire either like it was. Still have pictures for all you morbid fuckers that want to see. Let me know, I'll e-mail 'em to ya. They're great.

Bad things come to those who wait...

Wednesday night I got bit by something at work. The reason I know this is because I had a small pinprick type spot on my forearm and it was incredibly itchy. And, of course, I am such a genius, I scratched it. Thursday morning, when I was getting ready for work, I noticed that it had grown to the size of a small pimple. Not a big deal, I thought, soI put some Benedryl cream on it so I wouldn't scratch it any more and I went to work. By the time I got home Thursday night, I was all red and sore and had grown to about the size of a dime. Oh well, something got me, I'll hit the RediMed on the way home from work on Friday. That was a waste of time. It hadn't really gotten any larger, but it was extremely painful and it was very hot and red. The doc at the RediMed looked at it, gave me a prescription for some antibiotics and sent me on my way. $55 for the office visit, $95 for the pills. Fuck you very much too. Saturday was not too much different. Very painful and hot and I couldn't stand to have anyone or anything touch it. I had to roll my shirt sleeve up because it kept rubbing on it and that was almost excruciating. Saturday night, my mom tried to tell me that I needed to visit the ER, but being the cheapskate that I am, I blew her off. No insurance, barely scraping by as it is, I'd rather not incur a couple thousand dollars worth of hospital bills if I can prevent it. Besides, maybe it was just taking a couple days for the antibiotics to kick in. Sunday was pretty miserable. It was hotter than hell outside and my arm throbbed any how and it just kept getting worse as the day went on. I made it through the day and I had my mom look at it again before I went to bed and she freaked out. By this time, it had almost tripled in size, not to mention the huge area all around the actual sore that was also red and tender. There was also this huge egg shaped bump over it about the size of a quarter. And did I mention that it was starting to turn some really pretty shades of yellow (infection) and purple (dead skin tissue). All this time, it still continues to throb and ache and the heat coming off of it could have fried an egg. She tried to talk me into going to the ER right then and there and I resisted. Here again, the money factor.
Alright, so everyone gets ready for bed and I'm laying here thinking how nice it would be to have a couple vicodin right about then and the phone rings. It was my little Indian friend. We talked on the phone for a little while and he was asking me a bunch of questions about it and stuff and he kept telling me that he really thought I should take my mom's advice and go to the hospital. At this point, I'm so freaked out and in so much pain that I start crying, which only upsets him, because now he knows that I know he is right and I'm just being stubborn. Ok, ok, I give, I'll go...never mind the fact that it is 12:30 in the morning. He asked me if I wanted him to come with me and I told him no because it would be another half hour before he got to my house and by then I would have changed my mind. So I went...Alone.
They put an IV in me and made me sit there while they pumped me full of antibiotics for about 30 minutes and then they tried to lance it open, and nothing came out. Nothing at all. Not even blood. Ok, now I am really scared. That is totally not a good sign. They wrapped it up in gauze and left my IV in and clamped it off and wrapped it up too and sent me home with 6 vicodin and a prescription for 20 more (woo-hoo!) and told me to come back on Sunday evening for another dose of antibiotics through my IV and they wanted to look at it again. So, I go back in tonight and they pump the antibiotics through and try to scrape some shit out of this thing so they can do a culture and this time, they actually get blood but not without squeezing. If I hadn't been in extreme agony, I would have kicked him in the nuts. Mother fucker. He knew how bad it was hurting and he went and fucking squeezed it. Bastard. Anyhow, they swab the blood off and send it to the lab to run tests on it to make sure it isn't anything fatal.
They sent me home tonight with instructions to call the office of one of the surgeons at the hospital and make sure they understand the urgency of my getting in to see the doctor tomorrow.
So right now, I am suffering in pain, because if I take the vicodin too early, I won't be able to sleep all night long. I am actually getting ready to take them and crash out. I will keep you all posted on what happens tomorrow. I also have pictures for those of you morbid enough to want to see. It's pretty fucking gross.

Whisper things into my brain, assuring me that I'm insane

I replaced 2 of my stolen Metallica CD's this weekend. Renewed my passion for one of my most favorite bands, you could say. Totally reminded myself of why I love these guys in the first place.
Nothing exciting this weekend. Think that my little Indian friend and I are going our separate ways, though. We talked the other night and we both decided that maybe we should see other people...Which probably means that he has already found someone else that he wants to start dating but he's too nice of a guy to tell me so. It doesn't matter, I guess. He says he still wants to be friends, which really means that he wants to keep in contact with me in case things with this new person don't work out. Pretty cool, huh? I always seem to be second choice. But I guess it's my own fault for allowing it to happen.
Working lots and lots of hours this week. And have lots and lots to do so I guess I should get the hell off this computer and get to it, huh?

Welcome back, Juan Bodley!

Just wanna shout out to local legend, JohnnyC...We knew ya couldn't stay away for long! Hopefully you are getting your head straight (well, as straight as it can be, I guess). Keep in mind that you could work where I work and have to endure the bullshit that I have to put up with (see previous post). Glad to see you back with the insane where you belong.

Where am I? And how the hell did I get here?

Am I on another planet today or what? Did some greater power decide that I needed a little more bullshit in my life today and decide to have me wake up in an alternate universe where I am surrounded by people whose uncles are also their daddies and they call there mom's "sis"? I swear to God that I can totally top anyone's hillbilly redneck story with the shit I have went through in the last 2 days. Get this:
I work for a small electronics retailer who shall remain nameless so I don't get picked up on any search engines. As if that isn't bad enough, the town I work in is TOTALLY filled with in-breeders and rednecks whose biggest ambition is to see how many beers they can put away and still beat their wives and kids on the weekends. The whole town put together doesn't have a mouthful of teeth and the average IQ is below 50. The last couple of days have been really shitty anyhow, because I am seriously short-handed right now and I have had to work alone for the better part of the day. For those of you that know me, this is torture. I have gotten very good at carrying on a two-sided conversation with myself. As if this isn't bad enough, TWO times in the last 2 days, I have encountered the 2 stupidest people in town. Seriously, I could laugh this off if it happened once, but TWICE?!?!?! What the fuck...
Wednesday, I had a customer come in my store carrying a bag from another store, which is not a big deal...Sometimes people bring me things when they can't figure out how to work them or something and it's not unusual to see WallyWorld bags being brought into my store. Anyways, he walks in and sets his bag down on the counter and I ask him what I can do to help him. Sit down for this, you're gonna love it. He looks me straight in the eye and says, "I bought this at WallyWorld the other day and I don't need it any more...Can I return it here?" Excuse me? Did I suddenly change jobs and forget to tell myself?? "I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't purchase that here, I can't return it for you." "Well, why not? You sell the same thing, dontcha?" Oh my freaking God, am I in the twilight zone here? "I'm really sorry, sir, but you didn't purchase it from here and I won't be able to give you your money back for that." "Well, what the hell kind of place is this? It shouldn't fucking matter, should it? It all comes from the same place." "I'm sorry, sir, you will have to return it to the store that you purchased it from." "Well, see if I ever shop here again." You didn't fucking shop here to begin with you fucking idiot!!! I didn't actually say that out loud, but I wanted to throw something at him as he walked out the door.
Ok, so I can deal with idiots once in a while..It comes with the job. BUT IT HAPPENED AGAIN TODAY!!! Another customer, also male and obvioulsy of the same mentality, came in and did the exact same thing today!! Ok, now I know I'm in the fucking twilight zone.
As if it wasn't bad enough when the people in town take their livestock shopping with them instead of their kids...Someone please rescue me from this nightmare!!

Someone please turn that shit off...

I really have to stop listening to sappy, sad love songs. I actually thought things were getting a little better, and for once in my life, things might actually be going my way, and then I spend the morning listening to songs about broken hearts and shattered lives and that totally ruins my mood for the rest of the day. One of these days I will get a grip and know better than to listen to that shit, especially when it's already rainy and gloomy outside.
My little Indian man came home Saturday. I was so excited to hear his voice on the phone that I almost cried. I didn't want to push him into seeing me because I knew that he was coming off a 22 hour flight, not to mention the 3 hours drive to the airport in India, and the 4 hour drive home from the airport. Turns out I didn't have to because, even though I tried to protest (a little!), he kept insisting on seeing me that night. I got there around 8 and we hung out for a little while and he feel asleep on me 3 times in 2 hours, so I finally put him to bed around 10:30 and came home. It was really nice seeing him and spending some time with him, after 2 weeks, but something wasn't right. I missed him terribly bad and he kept telling me how glad he was to be home and to be with me, but I just wasn't feeling it like I was before. I don't know, maybe it has something to do with it being close to "that time of the month" and all, but I'm not so sure. Yesterday, I spent some quality time with Drama Queen, since it was Mother's Day and all, and we went to a cookout for my grandma last night, but I still can't shake this lonely feeling. Why is it that when you are surrounded by people that love you and care about you, you generally feel the most alone? I tried talking to someone about this today and they looked at me like I was completely insane. Who knows, maybe I am. If someone could explain this to me, I would be eternally grateful. All I know right now is that it is freezing in my room and I need to go to bed. I've actually been sleeping about 4-5 hours a night, which may not seem like much, but for me, it's fantastic, so that isn't the reason for my mood either. Go figure...

Happy Cinco de Mayo

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Drama Queen has Science Fair coming up and her little friend and her are doing their project either Sunday or Monday after school. I'm so excited!! I love this kind of stuff. They decided to make a small basic telegraph machine and to do their poster on how a telegraph works and the history of the telegraph and stuff like that. I've dug up a bunch of stuff on-line and printed it off for them as well as purchasing the stuff that they will need to put this little thing together. I am totally excited about this. I never got to do cool stuff like this when I was a kid. I can't wait.
I actually get to take 2 days off this coming week!! Don't ask me how...It probably won't ever happen again. Of course, part of the one day, I get to spend in the company of my snakey lawyer so that won't be any fun, but hopefully it won't take too long to do what we need to do and I can get out of there and enjoy my day. (And, no JohnnyC, I'm not going to my lawyer for that restraining order...YET!!) The weather better be nice or I'm gonna be pissed off big time.
Tonight, I get to go to the Vera Bradley outlet sale. I have been waiting for this sale for weeks! I didn't get to go last year and I really hope they still have some good stuff left when I go, because I need a new purse bad and I don't want to pay full price for one. I like their bags and stuff but I don't like them enough to pay full price. I know, I'm cheap. Cheap date, too, I've been told.
Ok, so I still didn't sleep last night. WTF? I don't understand. The human body was not made for this, I'm pretty sure and I don't know what to do to fix it. I've tried cutting out caffeine, only to have to endure painful headaches for a couple days, but those have pretty much went away. I've tried just about everything I can think of without going to the doctor (no insurance), and nothing works. I've even tried double doses of over-the-counter sleeping pills and they didn't help either. At this rate, I will either be totally insane or wrapped around a tree (see yesterday's post) by the middle of next week. Or I could be in jail for murder too, if someone says the wrong thing to me. I'm pretty short fused right now. Everyone tells me that I need to learn how to relax. Yeah right. Whatever.
Ok, so I finally gave in yesterday (I know, I'm easy) and told JohnnyC who I really am. I tried to tell him that he didn't know me...He didn't believe me. I'm fairly certain that we know a lot of the same people, but just not each other. When you live in a small town like I do, it's hard not to know damn near everyone. Which is not exactly a good thing...
Alright, alright, I'm done. Better get back to work anyhow.

Sorry about that...

Ok, about last night...I was not myself for obvious reasons. I can't explain it, all I can say is I'm sorry and it will probably happen again in the very near future. Just kidding...Actually, aside from not sleeping AGAIN and feeling like I have my head in a vise, I feel ok today. Got to talk to my Indian sweetie this morning online for a few minutes. He has such a positive outlook on life. Tell me, please, someone, are all Indian men like that? Because my boss is that way too and it drives me insane because he takes a hopeless situation and tries like hell to make you see the positive side of it. Anyways, I'm not a big fan of my boss right now so I don't wanna talk about him. Where was I? Oh, yeah, my Indian friend. He is so positive...And he worries about me like crazy because I am a psycho that needs a full time babysitter just to make sure that I don't kill myself accidentally or something stupid like that. Actually, he is worried because I'm not sleeping again and the other night when I was going home from work, I almost feel asleep at the wheel. Twice. So, I got the old cell phone out and started calling people...Didn't really matter who I was talking to as long as it was someone. Good thing I have 3000 minutes a month to burn on that damn thing. Ok, so I'm calling everyone that I know because some of them were busy and either didn't answer or couldn't talk, so I went through my phone book and talked to whoever would listen until I was about 3 miles. He was pretty freaked out about that. Told me not to ever scare him like that again. Shit...That's mild compared to some of the stupid shit I've done. He is very fond of telling me that whatever goes around, comes around...Now I'm really scared. Ok, not really. I'm basically a good person. Just because I would like The Ex's new woman to fall into a vat of battery acid, that doesn't make me a bad person, does it? It's not like I'm going to PUSH her into the vat of battery acid...And besides that, I'm sure that she doesn't think any better thoughts of me.
Ok, I gotta get some stuff done before my boss gets here today. I'll elaborate more on this later...

Shhh...Don't tell anybody...

I'm hiding in here...Don't tell anyone you saw me. My family is driving me insane. My dog won't quit humping my leg. The phone has rang 400 million times in the last hour and it's all been people I don't like or don't want to talk to. And I hate my fucking job, too...Did I mention that? I got to work 12 hours today, 8 of which I was by myself AND I get to do it again tomorrow. What fun!! And to top it all off, my boss will be in tomorrow and he and I are not on good terms right now. So tomorrow should be even better. God I hate my life. Where the hell is my Prince Charming that is supposed to sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this madness?? Huh?? I fucking give up. I'm too tired for this bullshit tonight. Day 5 of no sleep...I love being an insomniac. Builds character. My ass....

Just for you, JohnnyC.

Ok, last week, I promised that I would reveal my secret identity after I took some time this weekend to find a picture that was worthy of the great JohnnyC. Well, here ya go:



Haha, gotcha. You really didn't think I was going to let you off that easy, did you?

I actually did find a halfway decent picture this weekend that I could email to you...But what would be the fun in that??